My Love Story ~ Part Four

I had made the choice to remain home. I had told myself that it was so I could marry my boyfriend in the next year or so. And then, I told myself that I should have a "plan B" in case the boyfriend didn't want to marry me. I told myself that if things didn't work out within a year, I would then move on. I'd go to Bible College, somewhere. I told myself that I'd do something. I then told myself to quit telling myself so many things; people might think I was crazy!
Looking back, I realize that the need for a "plan B" should have tipped me off that something wasn't right. I remember that deep down, I felt an unsettling pain in my heart that something was wrong. But what? I wasn't sure. I think my parents also felt that something wasn't quite right, but they could not put their finger on it either. Or, if they did, they never mentioned anything. I knew something wasn't quite right in my relationship with this guy. There seemed to be some unseen shadow hanging over us. It felt exactly like a typical summer night in Arkansas when a storm is brewing. The air is hot and humid and you can't wait for the storm to break so that the cooler air can take its place. That's how the tension felt in our relationship. I never addressed that tension directly; I naively hoped it would all just go away. The storm, however, was indeed brewing. It needed to break so that happier days would come. But I didn't allow that. I single handedly held back the storm. I did this by ignoring the signs that were actually red flags to end the relationship.
That night that Bumper came in late to church was the first night of Bible college at our church. We had such a loving church! (They still are loving, by the way!) They were my extended family. The music was lively, but God honoring, the people were friendly and warm. It was the place I wanted to be forever.
After church that night we had a special fellowship for the college students. I saw Bumper up close for the first time in about two years. He still had that ornery grin. He still looked like he might say or do anything. He intrigued me. But I couldn't tell anyone that. He had a sort of confidence that often resembled arrogance. That irritated me, but only because I wished I could be more confident. I wished I didn't worry about what everyone thought of me. It was clear that Bumper never worried about trivial things such as others' opinions or feelings. Everyone gathered around him like he was a rock star. Well, not me! I'd have no part of it. At the fellowship, we all played "Win, Lose or Draw". It's a game where you have to draw a picture of a word and then your team has only so long to guess the word. If they don't get it within the time limit, then the other team has a chance to guess. It's a great party game.
When Bumper's turn came, he walked over to the marker board after having looked at his word. He had on a white long-sleeved dress shirt, with the sleeves rolled up mid forearm. His tie was loosened revealing an unbuttoned top button. There was something about him that said "I'm really comfortable with myself." He had dark hair, glasses and was really tan. In the dress shirt and tie he kind of looked like Clark Kent. I hate to admit this, but I thought he was really good looking. I made a point to avoid eye contact with him, for fear he would look at me and read my mind. I could just see him going home laughing about me and saying to his other college cohorts,"Valerie thinks I'm cute! Hahahahaha! I wouldn't be caught dead with her! Hahahahaha!" I felt ugly and untalented. I never even considered dating someone that was good looking. Someone like...dare I say it? Someone like Bumper!
He waltzed up to the board and scrawled out the words Be all that you can be. His team yelled out "THE ARMY!" He pointed at them with the marker and waltzed back to his team, satisfied that he had won his points. I was disgusted. Didn't he know you couldn't write words in this game?? Being highly competitive, I spoke up. He lost his points. Now I felt satisfied!
I don't remember who won that game, but I do remember that that night was the beginning. The beginning of the end!

To be continued...