Micah 6:8
I have often heard of the Pastor’s life as being compared to living in a goldfish bowl. The fish swims around, trying to do normal “fish” things, but always under someone’s watchful eye. Even if no one is watching the fish, the potential for someone to look in at any moment is constant. So it is for a Pastor’s family. There may not be people watching all the time, but the potential is always there!
Of course, a fish is not a human. It does not have emotions like a human. It can’t feel or care that others stand and gaze at him. He cannot do “wrong” in a fish bowl! He is immune to criticism, and praise. As I sit here in our parsonage, which sits less than 500 feet from our church, I am painfully aware that they, my fellow church members, are watching me. They are watching my children. They see us at home or at play or at work. I often worry that someone might drop by and see me without makeup, or that they might see my house a mess. I worry that I've offended someone, somehow, somewhere. I worry that I’m really not cut out for this after all. I think “Lord, couldn’t you have asked my husband to be an electrician or a banker?” I worry, and then I worry more!
Just about then, however, the Lord reminds me that worry, after all, is a sin. I ask for forgiveness and try to do better, but I usually end up right back where I started. People aren’t after me. They are all really nice. Why then, do I worry?
I worry because I’m out of focus. I’m looking all around me at the people and the world, instead of looking up to Him through His precious Word and prayer. I worry when I’m not busy thinking and doing for others, for when I'm busy I cannot sit and think about myself. I worry when my priorities are out of order. For what does God require of me? Well, today’s verse sums it up:
1. Do justly, or be honest and true.
2. Love mercy, or simply be merciful to others. I must give my church family (and my own family) the benefit of a doubt.
3. Walk humbly with thy God. I must spend time with the Lord each and every day. I must keep my priorites in proper order. I must remember who I am, and how unworthy I am to be married to a Pastor – God’s highest calling for a man.
If I do these things, my worry usually fades and my priorities come clearly into focus.
Oh, and sometimes a church member has needed to drop by when, for some reason, I do not have my makeup on! I just smile warmly and help them.
And after they leave, I pray that they don’t have nightmares.
Dear Lord, I really do want to keep a clean house and yard. I want to look nice each day, and have children that honor You. I want to be good testimony. I fail so often. Please reveal to me the changes I must make, and give me the help I need to implement them. Help me to do my best, and keep my eyes on You.
