Real Life with Lucy...I Mean Valerie!

It began one very hectic Friday evening. Our friends, Jeremy and Amanda Tyler, missionaries to Brazil, were coming to visit us for a few days. I was about to begin preparing supper, a Mexican Lasagna, when I decided to do a quick clean up first. I started picking up things and putting them away, ordering (sweetly of course) that my children do the same. I found several ornaments that had been knocked off of our tree and began putting them back on. That's when I noticed that the cardinal ornament that my Aunt Kathleen gave me had gotten a broken tail. "Super glue!" I thought at once. My Hubby got it for me. Being a "Mrs. Fix It", I quickly spread some on and began holding the tail in place.
Well, you guessed it. I found that I had not only glued the tail on, but also my thumb!

If you are an I Love Lucy fan, then you will recall the episode where Lucy accidentally glues a beard to her face...I sorta felt like that. I am glad, however, that I glued the bird to my thumb and not my face! That would have been worse!

We quickly began trying to remove the poor bird from my really poor thumb. We tried dabbing nail polish remover on the area. Nothing. Terry even tried to use his pocket knife to separate my skin from that bird - but the ringing in his ears from my shrill sceams put a stop to that!

Finally, after a quick web search, we discovered that I would have to soak my thumb in nail polish remover to get the cardinal off of my hand.

Hey, I love cardinals, but not enough to be glued to one.

I hope you get as many laughs from this as we have!



Yep, Valerie glued a cardinal to her thumb. I can now testify personally that super glue lives up to it's name. I could endorse them! ;)

The soaking begins.

And yes, dear friends, we're still soaking!

Finally, after about 20 minutes of soaking and pulling, the cardinal is removed from my poor, sweet, innocent thumb- who was only trying to repair the beautiful ornament! You can't trust wild animals, though. I learned that the hard way! They don't understand when we're trying to help them.

HURRAY!! Laci's happy for me, too.

There was minimal damage done to my thumb. The bird, however, had some paint removed due to his nail polish bath. I went against my usual OCD tendencies and just took red sharpie, colored him in and hung him back on the tree. I think I heard him breath a sigh of relief. Or was that Terry?

I was so busy getting the cardinal off of my thumb that I didn't get to prepare the Mexican Lasagna. Thankfully, we have several good restaurants in Hope. We took the Tyler's out to eat, and I made the lasagna the next night for them.

And, lest you think these "Lucy" moments are rare for me, I'll just share this. When I got ready to make the Lasagna, I realized I'd forgotten the diced tomatoes!

Ah well. Such is my life.

City Girl Solutions

We recently attended a bonfire at a church member's house. At the bonfire, we did something that I haven't done for years - we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows! DEEE-LISH! I love roasted marshmallow's!! This is something that I, as a city girl, do not get to enjoy too often. While growing up, my Dad would sometimes roast marshmallows for me over the fire in the fireplace. It brings back sweet memories! *sigh*

While purchasing groceries for our Thanksgiving Day meal this past Saturday, I noticed those giant marshmallows in the baking aisle. I picked them up. No, I do not have a fireplace. No, I do not plan on camping out anytime soon. (Although I think it would be nice to do that...once!) I planned on roasting them another way. Below are photos of the experience.

The STAR! Hello, Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows! How have you been? It sure has been a loooong time! You haven't changed a bit.

Yep, you probably already knew where I was going with this. You people are so smart! Anyway, as I was saying, get your strong, handy husband to unwind a wire hanger and snip it down to a small size with wire cutters. Bat your eyelashes and look helpless. (Oh no! Did I just put that on here? I hope he doesn't read this! He'll find out all my secrets...oh well.) Place one - or three! - of those beautiful jet puffed marshmallow's onto the end of the hanger and rotate it over the flame of your gas stove. If you don't have a gas stove, then get out your camping equipment, and hurry! It's getting cold quickly!

If you have a gas stove, wire hanger, and our lovely star ready, then start cookin'! Get ready for that ooey-gooey, mouth watering taste of roasted marshmallows!!

When done properly, (Translation: when done the way you like them. You may like yours charred and black or maybe just barely dimpled. Whatever you like. We want you to have it your way. I'm here to please.) they are nicely browned with only slight blackening. This is what I call "Marshmallow Perfection"!

Next, it's time to clean up! Did you notice all that leftover marshmallow on the tip of your holder? Well, don't lick it off right away, that could result in serious injury! You could let it cool and just wash it, but that's so hum-drum. I have a more exciting method of clean up!

Simply hold your wire hanger (aka, marshmallow holder ) over the flame on your stove. I have no idea why the flame isn't showing in this photo. Probably because I'm using a point-n-shoot camera, or maybe it's because I'm a lousy photographer. Or maybe it's both! Anyway, let it flame up for a second or two.

Once you've held it for a few seconds (Please do not burn your house down.), remove it and let it cool down a moment. Then, take a paper towel and remove the black.

*Disclaimer: Valerie is not responsible for any injuries or home damage that may result from lazy roasting practices. Do not attempt if you are under 18 years of age. Do not attempt if you are accident prone. There. Did I cover all the bases?

Next, take a your SOS pad and....GASP!...I'm out of SOS pads! Okay, don't panic if you don't have SOS pads. Simply use a dishcloth and scrub it a little more with some dish soap.

Voila! You have a clean marshmallow holder, ready for use next time. Which in my case is right about now! (Don't worry if it's a little stained, it won't hurt you, I promise! Just look at me! I'm perfectly normal! :P )

I just wanted to throw this photo in for fun. It's just the sun reflecting on my faucet.

Another item I noticed when I was in the baking aisle recently, was Jet-Puffed Marshmallow's cousin, Marshmallow Creme! At that moment, inspiration hit! I decided to take my favorite cappuccino mix and couple it with Marshmallow creme! The result is a sensational twist on my morning routine! Oh, and go ahead and kill time by photographing inanimate objects. It's a hoot!

At first, Cappuccino would have none of it! He was so offended that I wanted to change him! He asked me, "Am I not good enough?" I explained that it had nothing to do with him, it was me! It was just me and my selfish desire to try something new.

He agreed to talk it through with Creme and try to come to a compromise...for me. I was so touched!

At last, they came to an agreement!! YEA! We've been living in harmony ever since!

Now, I can go on with the rest of my day at peace with myself and the world.

What? I heard that! I know I'm a little crazy and have a little too much time on my hands. You don't need to remind me. (sniff) The fact of the matter is, when you have very little talent, you must grasp at whatever amusements you can find. This one was very cheap (free) and made me laugh. Yes, I know, I need to get out more. You don't have to tell me that, either. Just be easy on me, people. Please? Oh, thank you!

Now, go on out there and be one with your morning beverage!

Putting the FUN back in Fundamentalism

I hope the following story will not offend anyone. I found this on the web and I just had to share it. I am a strong proponent of laughing at myself. I love it. I figure, if I can't laugh at me, then who, pray tell, can I laugh at? Usually, I only laugh at myself. Not because I'm so funny, but because I can be so ridiculously stupid. And yes, I'll admit it, I can even act blond at times. (Wait. I am blond. See what I mean?)
Anyway, I came across this story and thought it was so hilarious! My husband thought it was great too. But, I'm a little strange, so that makes him strange by default. He's guilty by association.

I hold my Bible beliefs and convictions very near and dear to my heart. (Yes, I've been known to debate other denominations at their doors while out soulwinning. But only over the big stuff, like salvation, so don't get any wrong ideas, people, okay? Don't think I'm opinionated or talkative or wildly animated, okay??:] ) Regardless of my fervency and passion about what I believe, I do still enjoy laughing at the extremes some folks go to when someone else's ideas aren't "eye to eye" with their own. After all, even big mouths like me have our limits.
Note: This is a fictional story!

So, enjoy the laugh, and enjoy your weekend! :]


What kind of Baptist are you?
I was in San Francisco once, walking along the Golden Gate Bridge, and I saw this guy on the bridge about to jump. I said to him, "Don't do it. God loves you!" He said, “How do you know there’s a God?” I said, “Of course there’s a God. Do you think that billions of years ago a bunch of molecules floating around at random could someday have had the sense of humor to make you look like that?” He said, “I do believe in God.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me too. Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! What franchise?” He says, “Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He says, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?” He says, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern Conservative Reform Baptist?” He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist.” I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern Region?” He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I say, “Me too! Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?” He says, “Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I say “Die heretic!” and I shove him off the bridge.**

**Don't forget, this is fictional. Thank you. :]