He Gave Me His Life...Insurance

Today, I am celebrating eleven wonderful years as "Mrs. Terry Basham, II". If I had been able to find a good price on a scanner, I would be showing you our wedding photos. Perhaps I can do that in the future.
Terry and I got married at nineteen years of age! I don't think we drugged our parents to get them to agree to this, but maybe someone did...what were they thinking? I suppose they had the same faith that we did, that while life wasn't easy, when you have the Lord and someone you're deeply in love with, it will all be okay.
Terry was making $6 and some change per hour when we said "I do". He was not able to get any vacation time because he was in the midst of an annual inventory at work. So, instead of going to Washington D.C. (we both love history), we went to a quaint resort in Heber Springs for a two day honeymoon. He sold his truck to get the money for a nice honeymoon, but when we realized that our tiny duplex didn't have a refrigerator, we spent over half of it on that. I still have the fridge by the way, and it holds a special sentimental value to me. I sometimes look at it and imagine that it is a Hawaiian beach, or a cruise ship.
We didn't have much money back then. We still don't. Four children, eight moves, and hundreds of dollars of medical expenses (from having no medical insurance) have sucked away any hopes of financial prosperity.
Many folks would shake their heads at our "foolishness", but they don't understand. I have something which money could never buy. I have a husband who would give his very life for me. In fact, he does, everyday. Everyday he gives us his time, and time is the stuff of which life is made. Everyday he tells me and our children that he loves us, by being around us and doing things with us.
Shortly after we moved to Texas, my husband purchased some life insurance. He was fearful that he might go on to Heaven before me, leaving me with four children to raise and no money. I appreciated his wisdom and foresight.
The premium isn't astronomical, but it's a good portion of our money. Once, when things were tight, I asked him if we could let that policy laps to save money. He said, "Valerie, I'll do whatever it takes to keep that policy. If I have to get second job, we're keeping that insurance."
I know, you're thinking, "What's the big deal?"
The "big deal" is love. My husband loves me enough to work a second job, not to buy a boat, or a deer lease, or a new truck - but to purchase life insurance for me and our children.

Today my husband wanted to take me to Hot Springs for an overnight stay, but financial constraints kept us from the trip. I was very disappointed because I had my focus wrong. I am thankful that the Lord shifted my focus and helped me see what really matters.

Terry, I love you with all that is in me. I'm so sorry I fail you - and you know I do- over and over! I let you down; I disappoint you. I wish I could be perfect, for the Lord and for you.
Thank you for loving me for over eleven years. I don't want dinner at Olive Garden or a trip to Hot Springs. I just want you.

Some Thoughts on Our Homes ~

Yes, I know what you're thinking! "You actually think, Valerie?" Yes, folks, I'm trying something new, and so far, it's great! :)
I wanted to share my heart with you today. It seems that hardly a week passes without my hearing about a pastor, or a faithful layman, getting caught up in the sin of adultery. It grieves me deeply. Must these things be? I think not! The Devil knows how he can best destroy lives, and working from the inside out seems to be his method of destruction. The Devil learned during the days of Nero, and others like him, that persecuting Christians from without the body of Christ only fanned the flames of Christianity. Now, he knows the secret: if he can destroy the family and destroy the testimony of a Christian, then he has succeeded in harming the cause of Christ! His weapons? Clearly one of his favorites is adultery. I don't know of many baptist churches who have not had to deal with it.
I'd like to encourage myself, and the few ladies that read, to fortify our marriages. We must build up the walls that surround our homes, and keep out the "adulteress that hunts for the precious life" as Proverbs 6:26 calls her. I realize that some men who get caught up in adultery, do it because they seek after it. Other men, however, really do fall prey to a woman who is hunting for him. They truly don't see the "trap". Her intentions are to do harm, there's no question about it.
How can we help guard our marriages?
#1. Pray! We must pray for our husbands. Pray that the Lord will protect him from temptation. Ask the Lord to keep him close to Him.
#2. Watch. We must not be cynical, second guessing everything another woman does around our husbands, but we must listen to our "women's intuition" that often alerts us when danger is ahead. I have often told my husband to "be careful around so and so" because something that was said or done alerted me to this. Usually, my husband tells me later, "You were right about her!" There are women who desire to hurt, and some who are innocent. I must try to discern between the two, as much as I can. Of course, I'm never unkind to any woman. I just watch her!

The previous points were "defensive" measures. There are a few offensive measures we can take as well.

#3. Words that build up. Never greet your husband (as I sometimes do!) with the cares of the day first thing after work. Let him relax first. Try to be positive, even when discussing the negatives. Don't be doom and gloom (as I sometimes am!). (Boy, this is really convicting me!) Brag on your husband, but be sincere. Say things that make him feel good. He will know if you're just saying nice things to "butter him up." Don't do that. Look him in the eye sometime, out of the blue, and say "You know, I don't know what my life would be like if I hadn't met you." or "I forgot to say this earlier, but I really appreciated your fixing that towel rack in my bathroom. I take those things for granted." My husband is my pastor, and I truly enjoy all of his sermons, but saying "That was a good sermon" two times a week (I teach our children's church on Sunday morning) would get old. I try to give specific compliments. "I really needed point number four!" or "I had never noticed that verse before!" And of course, I never give false praise.
Most extra-marital bonds begin because the man feels he can better connect emotionally with the mistress than his wife. We can stop that bond from forming by ensuring that our husbands connect with us first.
#4. Be sure the marital bed is right. Do not keep yourself from your husband. Build a happy marriage by realizing that "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13: 4. If you are married, then you have a license to be with your man! Do not feel inhibited. Be sure his needs are met. Keep yourself looking nice, especially when he comes home from work. Remember, he never sees the gals at work without makeup and a nice hair do.We need to remain attractive for our husbands. He married a beautiful lady, so don't change!

I realize that Paul Newman was a worldly figure. He may not have even been saved, but he did have a 50+ year marriage to actress Joanne Woodward. In Hollywood, that is incredible! He once made a statement that is burned in my mind. A reporter asked him if he was ever tempted to cheat on his wife. He replied "Why would I go out for hamburgers when I have steak at home?" That's the kind of wife I want to be in all areas of my marriage. I want to be "steak"!

I really needed these reminders. I'm going to go work on these things today. I hope they might have helped you, too.
Let's be on guard against Satan and his attacks on our homes!